1984 Artist Mind

It is often difficult to describe pain, because everyone reacts so differently to it. For example, a person suffering with intense pain may bear it better than someone with a lower level of tolerance does. I am the most unfortunate of men. Rich, respected, fairly well educated and of sound health -- with many other advantages usually valued by those having them and coveted by those who have them not -- I sometimes think that I should be less unhappy if they had been denied me, for then the contrast between my outer and my inner life would not be continually demanding a painful attention. In the stress of privation and the need of effort I might sometimes forget the sombre secret ever baffling the conjecture that it compels. None of this speaks of real life. My realistic life is perfect. Wife, job. For Christ's sake sometimes it seems like others beg for my help more than others. In my sub being let me enlighten you. Demons make me want to lose my mind. Like a puzzle it doesn't make sense unless you know the right. God is suppose to be my mentor. Have I been led into a dying faith?