A moment with my brother

Now as a child I did not look like this, but tried as best as I could to revision my younger self. I remember as a child after my brother's death I remember having chubby cheeks, dirty blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and was rather skinny for a 3 yr old. I wanted to create a dream I remembered when I was 5. My brother died when he was 5, so it was kind of weird timing. I never really shared this dream until now, and wanted to share it with the world, when I could find the right pieces to fit together in this photomanipulation. I had a dream kind of like beetlejuice, where the wall opened up when I drew my brother's name in crayon on a wall. I saw a light piercing through, and saw a lake flowing around me. In the middle of the lake was my brother swinging on a tree swing my father had built. The tree was floating directly onto the lake with no grass around. I remember he told me I could not understand where he was, but he was calm. I told him I did not understand death. He said, " One day when you are older mommy will tell you what happened, and that every day Danny I am with you." I remember laughing, and watching the water trinkle over the brick ground into nothingness. I had this dream only once. However it stuck with me ever since. In school, and growing up I had it tough, was not really the popular kid. Got picked on a lot in school. I came home, and while doing homework I would stare at the photo of us, and know that he was watching me. I had it rough being a young adult, did not listen, became that rebel, and in the end of it all, I know he was still looking down, shaking his head from time to time. How when I first re met Guin, and told her about him. I wish she could see what i see, yet showing these pictures give a good idea to what I can show. He gave me strength when I was with a family member passing. He whispered cheer up kid, I am with them. Go on, and fight for what you are. I think a lot sometimes about my art, and what I do for a living, is it a meaning? a purpose? a right? a wrong? I will never know till the end.